Live for Today

This is going to be long--Please bear with all of the tangents.

 

If you want to get straight to THE NEWS Skip ahead to the segment called "THE NEWS"

 

I think it is important to know that sometimes something seems really hard to believe but you just have to go with it. Well you don't have to, but I do. 

 

Let me start with the theme of the year for 2015: "Live for Today." In the last 15 months I have known countless people who have passed away suddenly. They were not older people, they were all fairly young and seemingly in good health. There's really nothing that lights a fire in me quite like the evidence of mortality. 

 

Importantly, as it will come up again later in this post, many of these people were parents of my good friends. 

 

I want to live my life in a way that reflects the things I value most. For the last several years I have been going through the motions of progressing in my career and paying off debt and while these are important goals to work on, I was not living my life with the above intentions. What I value most is family, friendship, quality time and love.  

 

So this year I am living life with those values, and I am living for today. 

 

This seems to be a year of fairly major resolutions--not just the standards. I have many friends who are quitting social media in order to pursue more meaningful human interaction. I get that--it makes sense to me. It feels like the universal human consciousness is adjusting back to the importance of contact with others. This is something I can totally get behind. 

 

I am not quitting SM, though. I honestly never will because I have loved ones that span the globe and the magic of the internet allows me to feel a connection with them that would be difficult otherwise. 

 

 

TANGENT: Why I will never quit social media: 

 

Before social media my brother Jay (who lives in Kentucky) and I rarely interacted, we lost contact for a while even. Now we are close. We always know what the other is up to. We chat regularly. I have been able to become close with his wife. Even though we are separated by age and distance we can remain close. Without social media these things would not exist for us. I don't mean to say that in a bad way. I don't think it has anything to do with us not loving each other enough--It is just that SM is the perfect place for us to always remain in touch on the basic level. Then when we are lucky enough to be together in person, the awkward pauses and catching up don't exist any more. We can just jump right into having a good time and enjoying each others company. 

 

The second reason I will never quit SM is because I have COUNTLESS relationships with people online who I have never met in person. I am in the generation that really started setting this trend apart. There are people my age who struggle with this concept, but others younger than me who know no different. I understand that to some it is odd but to me many of these people are my best friends.

I like to say "the internet shrunk the world"  and as a person who values relationships (and has common sense) I can't ignore that there are people who I will connect with who just happen to be super far away. I love my online friends and I know they love me. That's all I need. 

 

Back to the show folks: 

 

SO... I am not quitting SM to bring myself closer to others. I am, however, making a drastic and somewhat shocking change based on the motto for 2015 (read: Live for Today.) 

 

Many of you know all I wanted for 12 years was to move back to Colorado (which we did about 68 days ago). Upon our arrival I was struck with a desire to make some forward progress. Ben and I sat down and started a vision board--something we love to do and I highly encourage others to try. We realized quickly that our hearts were ready for the next part of our lives to be focused on family, buying a home and starting our OWN family. There's not much that's more important to us at this time. 

 

About a week later he and I were shopping for Christmas and we stopped at a movie for a break. As we were sitting there I broke down in tears sobbing and said "I can't do this!" Ben obviously was perplexed so I explained: my heart has always felt torn between CO and SD and now it was clear to me--we had to return to SD. The reason: we want a family and I want my children to grow up with their grandparents. The closest I can get to their grandparents is Sioux Falls. 

 

We kept this whole revelation to ourselves. We planned on staying in Colorado for a while longer to enjoy our family and friends as well as fulfill our lease. Also we half-expected to return to SF and have our illusions of grandeur burst a bit. They did not. When we returned we felt like we were home. 

 

We started small, telling only our parents. Then we told some close friends. Quickly the excitement of telling people (and our inability to keep secrets) got the best of us and everyone in Sioux Falls knew. When people asked when we were going to return we usually said "Late summer or early fall" and that was the plan. We kind of felt unsure really of what would happen but we follow our hearts and just let things fall in to place. 

 

Then something happened: 

 

We went for a magical New Years walk with our good friends (the Hunters) in Valley Springs. We saw the house of our dreams--literally--for sale.

The realtor was available so we decided to look inside. Here's the link! It's twice as beautiful as the pictures suggest.

As we entered the home Ben said "Don't fall in love with this house. We're not moving back yet." So I spent my time just kinda gazing at things but trying hard not to fall in love. As we left I saw an unmistakable flicker in my dear husband's eyes "That's our house." 

 

So long story short: 

THE NEWS

We're moving back to SD
We're buying a house
We're doing it quickly. 

 

I am sure you are riddled with questions so let me satiate you with OUR FAQs: 

 

Wait, what?! Didn't you just move?!
 Yes. We did. We are moving again. 

 

What was so bad about Colorado?
 NOTHING!!! We LOVE Colorado! It will always be a second home to me and if I could have SD and CO squished together I would, but I can't.

 

But MANDA!!!! Colorado is all you have wanted for the last 12 years!!! Are you sure?
 Yes, I am sure. I firmly believe in following your heart. The problem was I left a HUGE chunk of mine back in CO and I could not retrieve it until I returned with that intention. I have gotten it back now and an essence of my heart will always be there. I am more whole because of this amazing adventure. I love Colorado--I love my family and friends in Colorado-- but I am a South Dakota girl now. I really feel like this is in the best interest for Ben and myself, and also for our family in the (not so distant) future. Thank you so much for your love and support. 

 

Are you pregnant?!
 No. 

 

Are you going to start a family soon?
 That's the idea. 

 

That's a SMALL town and it's outside of Sioux Falls Proper, are you sure?
 Yes we are sure. We can afford TWICE the house in Valley Springs as we could in Sioux falls. This allows us to have our dream house now without needing to compromise and sacrifice so much. We have a few friends in the area and we like the town--it's quaint. besides in 10-15 years you won't be able to tell where SF ends and VS begins. 

 

So do you regret moving/wish you hadn't moved to Colorado at all?
 ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Ben and I agree that the move to CO was 100% necessary!

Here are some reasons why: 

 

1. It taught us we don't mind driving 20 minutes just for groceries -- this will be important seeing as VS is 9 miles from the nearest grocer.
2.  As mentioned above there are certain life elements we would be missing (ie. a large chunk of my heart)
3. 10 years from now, if we hadn't moved, it is a very real possibility that I would be harboring resentments towards SD and even Ben (for making me stay.)
4.  We learned a HUGE lesson by observing my aunts and uncles with their grandchildren: Grandparents can NEVER be too close to their grand kids, but even 100 miles seems too far when they are apart.
5. No body needs 15 Wendy's in their town--that shit's absurd.
6.  If people really care they'll keep in touch, regardless of distance.
7. Loving the people you work with in a deep, tight-knit kind of way is a HUGE blessing and should be honored as such.

Back to the FAQ: 

 

Did you know you weren't going to stay when you moved to CO in the first place?
 Definitely not. in fact both of us expected to fall in love with CO and never look back. It was when we started visualizing our future that we started seeing the truth, as sad as it makes us to leave Colorado behind. 

 

Don't you have a lease? what's going to happen financially?!
We've got it covered. 

Your job lets you just move back and forth without any penalty!?
 Yep! I am super duper blessed to work with a flexible and understanding company that fully grasps the reality of being human on a basic level. They care about US not about where we are... I am really grateful for all they are doing to help us get to where we want to be.  I love my bosses in both locations and am really super lucky to have them willing to help me out with this. Ben works from home so--he works wherever we go anyway   

 

What did you mean by "Dream house--literally...?"
 Excellent question! this is the house of our dreams. This house matches the vision board we created to spec. It is what both of us have always wanted individually and together in a home. AND it is super affordable. Not to mention--I have literally had dreams OF this house. Crazy?--sue me. 

 

 

 

So that's it. A long drawn out and hopefully entertaining explanation of where we are currently. Were taking on our lives in 2015 with intention and starting strong by manifesting our dream house. Thank you for joining/supporting/and playing a significant role in our adventure! 

 

We love you all!!

 

I part now with the theme song of the year: It's Not Right for You --The Script