Today I had my manuscript dangling over the fire, ready to watch it burn. I didn't want to sacrifice my idea or goals in anyway, on the contrary, I wanted to start over. I never intended to be an author, I wrote for my own enjoyment and for the people who may or may not read my blog. Without any formal training, I have no idea what I am doing as far as writing a first draft, or any draft, is concerned.
Sure it is easy to say, "Just write. Get it all out there. Vomit on the page." if you will, and "we will clean it up and make it pretty later." The perfectionist in me is not having it. I can't handle looking at the jumble bumble that I call a manuscript and imagine showing it to ANYONE at this point. Selling them on the idea is simple but the pile in front of me seems convoluted at best!
Back to the beginning: Today I had my manuscript over the fire, ready to watch it burn. BUT... before I did that I reached out to my trusty support network. When it comes to writing my support network is my husband Ben (always), my friend and author Ann Hunter, and my friend and editor/author/all things brilliant Ally Bishop.
I approached it as I usually do "HELP PLEASE!" followed by my need for support and love and affirmations. They all delivered brilliantly and I am pleased to say, my manuscript is not a pile of ash, but just a work in progress (imagine that).
This is a pretty big deal, right? The life or death of my current manuscript pretty much determines if I am or am not an author, and my ability to continue writing with confidence is very valuable to me as a writer. It could be assumed, then, that I would only entrust the closest of friends to help talk me off of this ledge, so to speak.
It may surprise you, then, that all three of these relationships were forged online. Not only that but two of the three of these friends and I have never met in person.
I have 450ish friends on Facebook. Of those friends at least 20% I met and know online exclusively and of them I would consider at least 15 close friends. That is defined by me as:
a person I would go to for personal or professional guidance,
someone who's life I am interested in and who I often share the smallest victories with,
a person who knows me as I am without pretense and who cares for my well being;
and a person who truly doesn't mind listening to me bitch (we all need an ear at times, am I right?)
It is all too often I am shocked by people's reaction to these statistics. I can't be the only person out there who is able to forge strong and meaningful relationships on the interwebs, can I? I fear that I might be.
Here are some Manda Facts (def: Not based on any actual fact with the exception of my own gut and heart) about friendship:
1. Friendship can cross any of terrain, even oceans and deserts and mountains, anything.
2. Distance does not have to define friendship
3. Friends do not have to "know" each other IN REAL LIFE (I hate that phrase) to be friends, they just have to know each other.
4. To know one another, friends must be honest, loving, kind and open to communication. (just like in marriage)
5. You don't need me to define friendship for you, you get to define it for yourself!
And now 5 fun facts about my life WITH E-Friends:
1. I am working on my first novel and believe that I can and will be published one day BECAUSE of E-Friends.
2. I know how to love myself as fully as I do now BECAUSE of E-Friends.
3. I met my lovely, amazing, awesome, and encouraging husband, Ben, online. When I was dating him I asked for encouragement from my E-Friends... I may have not even dated him if it weren't for them.
4. My healing process from my abusive relationship and through other points of grieving have been easier BECAUSE of E-Friends
5. Everyday I know I am loved, supported, and cherished because of E-Friends.
So go out there, make you some E-Friends... you never know where those amazing and deep and carefree relationships might lead!
Want to be my E-Friend? Find me on Twitter and shoot me an email mandabmitchell@gmail.com
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Friday, April 18, 2014
Dear Caller-A Letter from a Video Interpreter
Dear Caller,
I have known you since you first turned on your first video phone. I remember how excited you were to make a call to your mom using your hands, how baffled you were at the simplicity of filling your own prescriptions through the press of a button. I remember, with more joy, the first time you made a mobile call. It was awkward for us both as you tried to figure out the best position for your phone hand. Signing one handed never felt so strange, I am sure. I have to admit, I was polite the first time and didn't want to embarrass you, I saw more of your nose hairs than your hands. We figured it out though, didn't we? And now you make calls from the grocery store, mall, park, doctor's office, and sometimes to test my cardiac health you make VP calls from your moving vehicle. Nothing says equal access quite like mobile VP, in my opinion.
Caller, I remember when you got your pet. They were so sweet and cute. We called every single one of your family members to tell them all about it. You were so excited and held your pet up for every VI to see, with pride. I remember all the calls we made to the groomer and the vet. I remember thinking of you and your pet when I would see someone walking their dog or petting their cat in my everyday life. One of the hardest days of my job was the day I had to call and tell you your pet had died. I am so sorry that you received that news. I am so sorry that I am the one who had to deliver it. But, at the same time, I am so glad you didn't have to hear it alone, and I am so very thankful that you let me in to even the most intimate and trying moments in your life.
I remember the first time I saw the inside of your office instead of your home. Placing highly technical conference calls for you has always been a pleasure of mine. Many people in the interpreting community would argue that Video Interpreters don't see the same level of challenges as a community interpreter does, I beg to differ. Thank you for filling me in on all of the technical terms you would be using. Working together, as a team, really made the call so much more efficient for both of us. By the end I felt accomplished and proud that you had kept up with your peers because of our teamwork. Another perfect example of equal access and how VRS really helps you achieve that.
Caller, I know that there are times when I am less than stellar. As a human I can't possibly be on my A-game all the time. I know you don't know that my husband just lost his job or that my relative just passed away. I know that it is not your fault that the previous five callers were irritated as well. I know that we all have good days and bad days and I am just grateful that you give me second chances and understand that I am here to provide the very best service I possibly can for you. You make my day, honestly. I love this job and I could not ask for anything more than to provide you excellent quality customer service for all of your calls.
I could go on for days. I spend 36 hours of my week in a cubicle interpreting phone calls for you and other callers. Some are super happy calls, some are super sad. Some calls are the best experiences of my life and others are just another call. Some callers like to thank me for my work, and others prefer to just hang up. Every call is important. Every caller is important. I work for you. Thank you so much for helping me every day to be a better interpreter and, more importantly, a better person.
With so much thanks and love,
Manda-your VI
This letter is to no one and everyone. I felt an urge today to write a thank you note to my callers because I get to be a part of their lives on even the most intimate of moments. I feel so blessed and grateful every day to have the opportunity I have to provide a service to the deaf and Hard of Hearing community. I am also so grateful that I was shown the path so early on. Being an interpreter is really so valuable to me.
Also, I am grateful to ZVRS for being the best employer I have ever had. To some people it may just be a job, but to me it is a family. I care so much about my colleagues and my consumers, both hearing and deaf.
Thanks for reading.
Much love,
Manda
I have known you since you first turned on your first video phone. I remember how excited you were to make a call to your mom using your hands, how baffled you were at the simplicity of filling your own prescriptions through the press of a button. I remember, with more joy, the first time you made a mobile call. It was awkward for us both as you tried to figure out the best position for your phone hand. Signing one handed never felt so strange, I am sure. I have to admit, I was polite the first time and didn't want to embarrass you, I saw more of your nose hairs than your hands. We figured it out though, didn't we? And now you make calls from the grocery store, mall, park, doctor's office, and sometimes to test my cardiac health you make VP calls from your moving vehicle. Nothing says equal access quite like mobile VP, in my opinion.
Caller, I remember when you got your pet. They were so sweet and cute. We called every single one of your family members to tell them all about it. You were so excited and held your pet up for every VI to see, with pride. I remember all the calls we made to the groomer and the vet. I remember thinking of you and your pet when I would see someone walking their dog or petting their cat in my everyday life. One of the hardest days of my job was the day I had to call and tell you your pet had died. I am so sorry that you received that news. I am so sorry that I am the one who had to deliver it. But, at the same time, I am so glad you didn't have to hear it alone, and I am so very thankful that you let me in to even the most intimate and trying moments in your life.
I remember the first time I saw the inside of your office instead of your home. Placing highly technical conference calls for you has always been a pleasure of mine. Many people in the interpreting community would argue that Video Interpreters don't see the same level of challenges as a community interpreter does, I beg to differ. Thank you for filling me in on all of the technical terms you would be using. Working together, as a team, really made the call so much more efficient for both of us. By the end I felt accomplished and proud that you had kept up with your peers because of our teamwork. Another perfect example of equal access and how VRS really helps you achieve that.
Caller, I know that there are times when I am less than stellar. As a human I can't possibly be on my A-game all the time. I know you don't know that my husband just lost his job or that my relative just passed away. I know that it is not your fault that the previous five callers were irritated as well. I know that we all have good days and bad days and I am just grateful that you give me second chances and understand that I am here to provide the very best service I possibly can for you. You make my day, honestly. I love this job and I could not ask for anything more than to provide you excellent quality customer service for all of your calls.
I could go on for days. I spend 36 hours of my week in a cubicle interpreting phone calls for you and other callers. Some are super happy calls, some are super sad. Some calls are the best experiences of my life and others are just another call. Some callers like to thank me for my work, and others prefer to just hang up. Every call is important. Every caller is important. I work for you. Thank you so much for helping me every day to be a better interpreter and, more importantly, a better person.
With so much thanks and love,
Manda-your VI
This letter is to no one and everyone. I felt an urge today to write a thank you note to my callers because I get to be a part of their lives on even the most intimate of moments. I feel so blessed and grateful every day to have the opportunity I have to provide a service to the deaf and Hard of Hearing community. I am also so grateful that I was shown the path so early on. Being an interpreter is really so valuable to me.
Also, I am grateful to ZVRS for being the best employer I have ever had. To some people it may just be a job, but to me it is a family. I care so much about my colleagues and my consumers, both hearing and deaf.
Thanks for reading.
Much love,
Manda
Sunday, October 20, 2013
I Live for Love-A Poem
I live in a world without boundaries. Anyone can communicate at the
drop of a hat. There's no name or face to what we say, so we say what we
want when we want to even when its intended to hurt another person. Due
to anonymity we aren't held accountable for who we impact.
I live in a country without respect for others. A place where our neighbors cannot be our friend because of the color of their skin, for their shape or much worse their beliefs which differ from our own. In a country where promises mean nothing and we owe debts to everyone around us but are unable to pay.
I live in a state stuck in the past. Never changing never growing always doing the same thing we've always done.
I live in a city that falls asleep at 6 p.m. Because that's the way it's always been so that's the way it always will be there's no reason we should change.
I live in a neighborhood full of houses that all look the same. The same families, the same car, the same dog, and children, the same houses.
I live in a house that is not unique, that does not represent who I am or where I have been.
But maybe...
I live in a house of my own which is more than most people can say. I have a roof, and I have food and I have walls keeping me safe.
I live in a neighborhood where people still wave and ask how your day was. They'll give you a hug if they find out it was bad. Where they know the names of your children and watch out for them as if they were their own.
I live in a city that closes at 6 p.m. but continues to leave a fire in the hearth for a visitor who might come knocking, and is always welcome.
I live in a state that is stuck in the past but has a higher success rate than most other states and a lower unemployment rate than the rest of the country. Although we are a bit behind and shell shocked with change, we are trying our best to catch up.
I live in a country that tries to fight for freedom and to do what's best. With so many wonderful, wonderful people hopefully one day soon we can bring an end to hate.
I live in a world without boundaries. This means that we can help more people than we ever could before. It means we can lend a hand to anyone across the globe without batting an eye or traveling even a mile. We could help each other, we can love each other; and that's what this is about, love.
Any negative can be a positive. Hidden beneath our complaints and unhappiness lies gratitude and peace.
I am committed to gratitude. I am committed to ending the hate. I send out love to everyone I know, and everyone I don't know. I want to spread peace and love and happiness everywhere I go, regardless of race, or color, or religion, or belief, or country, or gender, or sex. None of those things matter, you're human I love you.
Love is the most powerful tool we have. If we can just love one another, we can make it through anything.
Manda 10/20/13
I live in a country without respect for others. A place where our neighbors cannot be our friend because of the color of their skin, for their shape or much worse their beliefs which differ from our own. In a country where promises mean nothing and we owe debts to everyone around us but are unable to pay.
I live in a state stuck in the past. Never changing never growing always doing the same thing we've always done.
I live in a city that falls asleep at 6 p.m. Because that's the way it's always been so that's the way it always will be there's no reason we should change.
I live in a neighborhood full of houses that all look the same. The same families, the same car, the same dog, and children, the same houses.
I live in a house that is not unique, that does not represent who I am or where I have been.
But maybe...
I live in a house of my own which is more than most people can say. I have a roof, and I have food and I have walls keeping me safe.
I live in a neighborhood where people still wave and ask how your day was. They'll give you a hug if they find out it was bad. Where they know the names of your children and watch out for them as if they were their own.
I live in a city that closes at 6 p.m. but continues to leave a fire in the hearth for a visitor who might come knocking, and is always welcome.
I live in a state that is stuck in the past but has a higher success rate than most other states and a lower unemployment rate than the rest of the country. Although we are a bit behind and shell shocked with change, we are trying our best to catch up.
I live in a country that tries to fight for freedom and to do what's best. With so many wonderful, wonderful people hopefully one day soon we can bring an end to hate.
I live in a world without boundaries. This means that we can help more people than we ever could before. It means we can lend a hand to anyone across the globe without batting an eye or traveling even a mile. We could help each other, we can love each other; and that's what this is about, love.
Any negative can be a positive. Hidden beneath our complaints and unhappiness lies gratitude and peace.
I am committed to gratitude. I am committed to ending the hate. I send out love to everyone I know, and everyone I don't know. I want to spread peace and love and happiness everywhere I go, regardless of race, or color, or religion, or belief, or country, or gender, or sex. None of those things matter, you're human I love you.
Love is the most powerful tool we have. If we can just love one another, we can make it through anything.
Manda 10/20/13
Monday, November 19, 2012
Twilight in Reality-My experience in an abusive relationship
I am not a TWIHARD... but I did enjoy the books (as bad as her actual writing abilities are Stephenie Meyer is excellent at character development and cliff hangers... which make for a very addictive read), and I really loved the last movie... and have seen all the movies. When I first started the books, I was with my ex husband. It was not hard for me to make distinct correlations between my relationship with him and Bella's relationship with Edward. I thought, though, that was just the typical behaviors of a book--trying to make the characters relateable.
Enter: Ben. Someone with a good head on his shoulders, who has never even been witness to abuse in a relationship. I realized, quickly, when with him (although it took repeated experiences) that what I had been through was not normal.
I suffered PTSD from the relationship I had with my ex for over a year. I worked VERY hard with a counselor and many other people and services to make it through to the brighter side.
As you know the last Twilight movie was released this last week... and with that dug up old articles and reminders of the unhealthy behaviors exhibited therein. Here is one article I read... beyond just what it said about the movie, I realized even more what it said about my past:
According to the National Domestic Violence hotline, these are some signs that you may be in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship.I was being threatened multiple times per day. Even something just as simple as staying late for school resulted in rage I feared on a daily basis.
Does your partner:
* Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Check.
Yes. I was not often allowed to speak with my family. I was not allowed to say "I love you" to anyone else. The list is very long.
* Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
"Stay away from the werewolves. I love you."
* Make all of the decisions?Definitely. Convinced me I was unable to balance a checkbook and then lead us down a road of negative bills and credit which cost me personally over 20 thousand dollars to get out of (and I'm still working through it)
Check.
Not to mention--He ordered EVERY meal for me... I remember the week after I left him the VERY FIRST meal I ordered I cried... I couldn't believe how freeing it was to be able to choose for myself again.
* Act like the abuse is no big deal, it's your fault, or even deny doing it?I wish you weren't my soul mate sometimes, Then I could just leave you and be with someone who was less painful to be around. Also: I just can't stand to be apart from you... your friends should understand that.
"If I wasn't so attracted to you, I wouldn't have to break up with you."
5 times, to be exact.
* Threaten to commit suicide?
"I just can't live without you. In fact, I'll run to Italy and try suicide by vampire if anything happens to you."
* Threaten to kill you?This one is a bit harsh-he only ever threatened to LEAVE or HURT me, never to kill me... Threatened to kill people I cared about.
On their first date.
These are some more signs of an abusive relationship.
Has your partner...
* Tried to isolate you from family or friends.Touched on this earlier... I was not allowed to spend time with any of my friends, alone, for any extraordinary period of time.
Bella doesn't have time for anyone else!
* Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).In the time that I was with him: Broke my phone (Hated that I was texting and threw it across a room), Punched walls, pillows and doors, as well as shattered the windshield of our car with his fist...
Check.
* Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.Pushed-Often... Several times. Almost punched me twice.
Does tossing her through a glass table count?
* Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.He did not do this--but there was one time I THOUGHT he was going to ...
"We're breaking up. And I'm leaving you in the forest."
* Scared you by driving recklessly.*nod* yup
Check.
um... I don't remember this happening either... Well... there was that one time I drove ALL THE WAY TO Arkansas alone in the middle of January to go get him... my mom about killed me...
* Forced you to leave your home.
She had to run away with him to flee from the other vampires in the first movie, and she had to drop everything and run to Italy in the second.
* Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.Nope...
Check. Even in the hospital, nothing is a big deal.
* Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.YUP... If the house wasn't clean... it was my fault.
Well, they are Mormon... (I know, I know, cheap shot.) **PS I don't appreciate this comment about the Cullens (assuming that is what she means) being Mormon... that's just offensive on so many levels...
* Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.This got so bad that even if I went out for lunch with a female friend I was a lesbian and cheating with them... It was painful trying to abide by the "love no one but me" standard... its no wonder I fight for my right to love anyone and everyone now...
Check, wolf-boy.
According to the NDVH, "If you answered ‘yes' to even one of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship." This list is fifteen.
So there you have it... My relationship with my ex in a very boxy nutshell...
I will try, forever probably, to be sure to talk about this with everyone I know. Not because I think it is something to be proud of or because I want sympathy, but because knowledge IS POWER. No woman or man should have to be in a relationship like this one, and popular culture like the Twilight Saga are exactly what continues to perpetuate this.
Like I said-I am just as guilty as anyone else-I support the brand of Twilight by reading the books and watching the movies. But, I think by recognizing how real the abuse and manipulation are in the series, the more freedom we will have from situations like this one.
I am hopeful for a brighter future. In my 20s I have been in an abusive relationship, cut ties with almost all friends and family, realized I was being abused, left that relationship, reestablished my connections, and started a healthy mature relationship with a different amazing man. By the way, I am only 25... a lot can change if we want it to.
If you can relate to ANYTHING in that list in your current relationship (or a friendship, or an employment, or with a family member), I plea for you to SEEK HELP!!! Even if it is just sending me an email and working through it that way, or finding a counselor, or speaking to someone from your church or community.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! NEVER accept someone telling you that you are!
SO MUCH LOVE! <3 <3 <3 <3
Manda
Monday, January 9, 2012
The Versitile and Dynamic Life of an ASL Interpreter
Today while working I was reflecting on what I do for a
living. There are a lot of facets and aspects to my job. I really hate
calling it a job because so often in our culture the word "job"
insinuates something that is not enjoyable but must be done... I LOVE
WHAT I DO... I don't mind the money I make from it but even if I won the
lottery tomorrow (which I won't because buying lottery tickets is a
waste of money) I would still be an interpreter-I would just do it for
free.
Recent circumstances have allowed me to work a bit more than normal-which I am really enjoying. This also allows Ben more time to work on his artwork which is crucial for his future as a graphic designer and illustrator if he wants to build a portfolio. The way things seemed to have unfolded really has lent itself nicely to our mutual, and individual, happiness in the career department.
I digress.
The job I do... we can call it that now that you understand how I feel about it clearly, is intense at times, draining, stressful, down right HARD and can just about drive a person crazy. However, the exact same job, is peaceful, rewarding, energizing and filled with love and gratitude.
Imagine a life where you had to depend on someone else, always a different person, to have communication with others. A stranger is there to tell you you have cancer. A stranger is there when your sister tells you your Grandfather has passed on. A stranger tells you that your son won his soccer game. A strangers face is the one you are looking at when you tell the person you love most that you miss them desperately and can't wait for them to come home from wherever they are.
That is who I am. I have to tread carefully where I walk. I have to be constantly aware of what is on my face because, if I am not, that means a message is not being communicated accurately and the deaf person is getting less than what they should out of the conversation. Likewise, if the deaf person is not being fairly treated if I do not convey what they mean as closely as possible. For example one time I was in a very upstanding place and the deaf consumer was very upset. They chose to scream and swear at the people around them (all prominent and intelligent people who I respected highly) but I couldn't fudge how the person was speaking. Their arms were flying and it was very clear what they were saying. If I did not interpret how they felt as accurately as I could I would be doing an injustice to them as well as breaking the code of conduct that I agreed to when becoming an interpreter.
Another aspect of what I do is the amazing amount of intimacy I get to be a witness to. I am the voice of mothers screaming at their daughters to get their butts home or else. I am the "voice" through my hands and face, of so many people sharing their love, hate, anger, despair and indifference. All in one day. I probably say "I love you" more in a day than anyone in any other profession. I adore that. I love that I get to be the voice of a child when he says "I love you" to his grandma and grandpa.
*tangent* That is something I have to say would not have worked out very well. Ben is so loving and understanding and absolutely adores me so much that he never questions my love for him. He knows that even though I am a part of these peoples lives it is only for a remote split second. He knows that, even though I love my job with every fiber of my being, I also love him with every fiber of my being. There is no limit to the amount of love I can give (To people, my work, or the world/universe as a whole). John, however, would have had HUGE issues with it. He already had established rules that I could not have a male doctor, I could not interpret for men in the hospital or medical settings, I could not see the same doctor twice (for fear that they might know more intimate details about me than he would), and I could not say "I love you" to or about anyone other than him and my family (and even that was a stretch).
Man it is fascinating comparing how my life *COULD* have been... and is. I am so grateful for the experiences I had for they were tiles to my mosaic which has made this beautiful masterpiece of a life /end tangent.
The problem with a tangent is I don't know where I was going to go next with this... ah well.
I guess I always wanted to be an actress-and with my job I get to play a thousand different roles. I am so grateful to have found a career path and a passion that align so beautifully. My only wish is that others could be so blessed. I know that I have received this gift as a reward for the kindness I have paid to the world, as well as for all the hard work I have put in. There are several times in my life where I could have given up completely, this is something I truly wanted-and I saw it through until the end.
Thank you all for being a part of this beautiful journey. Don't get me started on interpreting-I could go on for days and days about the history of it, and the language, and the culture... but that was the point of this blog, wasn't it? To show my love and gratitude for the things I enjoy most.
Manda
Recent circumstances have allowed me to work a bit more than normal-which I am really enjoying. This also allows Ben more time to work on his artwork which is crucial for his future as a graphic designer and illustrator if he wants to build a portfolio. The way things seemed to have unfolded really has lent itself nicely to our mutual, and individual, happiness in the career department.
I digress.
The job I do... we can call it that now that you understand how I feel about it clearly, is intense at times, draining, stressful, down right HARD and can just about drive a person crazy. However, the exact same job, is peaceful, rewarding, energizing and filled with love and gratitude.
Imagine a life where you had to depend on someone else, always a different person, to have communication with others. A stranger is there to tell you you have cancer. A stranger is there when your sister tells you your Grandfather has passed on. A stranger tells you that your son won his soccer game. A strangers face is the one you are looking at when you tell the person you love most that you miss them desperately and can't wait for them to come home from wherever they are.
That is who I am. I have to tread carefully where I walk. I have to be constantly aware of what is on my face because, if I am not, that means a message is not being communicated accurately and the deaf person is getting less than what they should out of the conversation. Likewise, if the deaf person is not being fairly treated if I do not convey what they mean as closely as possible. For example one time I was in a very upstanding place and the deaf consumer was very upset. They chose to scream and swear at the people around them (all prominent and intelligent people who I respected highly) but I couldn't fudge how the person was speaking. Their arms were flying and it was very clear what they were saying. If I did not interpret how they felt as accurately as I could I would be doing an injustice to them as well as breaking the code of conduct that I agreed to when becoming an interpreter.
Another aspect of what I do is the amazing amount of intimacy I get to be a witness to. I am the voice of mothers screaming at their daughters to get their butts home or else. I am the "voice" through my hands and face, of so many people sharing their love, hate, anger, despair and indifference. All in one day. I probably say "I love you" more in a day than anyone in any other profession. I adore that. I love that I get to be the voice of a child when he says "I love you" to his grandma and grandpa.
*tangent* That is something I have to say would not have worked out very well. Ben is so loving and understanding and absolutely adores me so much that he never questions my love for him. He knows that even though I am a part of these peoples lives it is only for a remote split second. He knows that, even though I love my job with every fiber of my being, I also love him with every fiber of my being. There is no limit to the amount of love I can give (To people, my work, or the world/universe as a whole). John, however, would have had HUGE issues with it. He already had established rules that I could not have a male doctor, I could not interpret for men in the hospital or medical settings, I could not see the same doctor twice (for fear that they might know more intimate details about me than he would), and I could not say "I love you" to or about anyone other than him and my family (and even that was a stretch).
Man it is fascinating comparing how my life *COULD* have been... and is. I am so grateful for the experiences I had for they were tiles to my mosaic which has made this beautiful masterpiece of a life /end tangent.
The problem with a tangent is I don't know where I was going to go next with this... ah well.
I guess I always wanted to be an actress-and with my job I get to play a thousand different roles. I am so grateful to have found a career path and a passion that align so beautifully. My only wish is that others could be so blessed. I know that I have received this gift as a reward for the kindness I have paid to the world, as well as for all the hard work I have put in. There are several times in my life where I could have given up completely, this is something I truly wanted-and I saw it through until the end.
Thank you all for being a part of this beautiful journey. Don't get me started on interpreting-I could go on for days and days about the history of it, and the language, and the culture... but that was the point of this blog, wasn't it? To show my love and gratitude for the things I enjoy most.
Manda
Sunday, September 26, 2010
My Thoughts on the NIC
I decided to post this because I know I will
never have this exact feeling again and it is crucial that I document
what it feels like because one day in the future I might not remember,
it is important to never forget.
The
NIC test is the basic holy grail of the last 4 years of my life. It is
everything I have worked for and toward and will open up paths to me
that I don’t even know exist yet. I might be seemingly over-dramatizing
this but if you consider what being an interpreter means to me, then
maybe you can get the idea. Nearly every step I have taken and every
decision I have made since choosing to be a sign language interpreter
has led me to this very moment. Granted, I am human and have made
mistakes, that is why that sentence began with NEARLY instead of EVERY. I
worried about the little things in life for much of my college
experience because I forgot the main outcome, the end result. Now, with
it sitting in front of my face almost mockingly I have a hard time
ignoring it. It is impossible.
The National Interpreter Certification Test was created by the Registry of Interpreters for the Deaf and National Association for the Deaf. It is supposed to be a gauge of an interpreter’s ability not only in the skill of interpreting but also in their knowledge and practicality when presented with ethical dilemmas. The first portion of the test was the written examination which I passed in January. It was a hard test, yes but it was based merely on book knowledge meaning even a person with no interest in becoming an interpreter, if they studied hard enough, could pass it. Now it is almost exactly 9 months later (I passed 1/28/2010) and I am awaiting the results of the second portion of the test.
The second portion is known as the Performance Exam which is broken down into two parts. Performance-one’s ability to actually interpret (video scenarios) using some back ground information and a bit of knowledge of clientele. Raters take into account one’s ability to match the affect of both the consumers and to balance the weight of the situation as if it were a standard assignment. There are 5 scenarios in which this occurs. The second part is the ethical/interview portion in which the interpreter chooses a deaf person from a group and that person signs 5 ethical situations. The interpreter is expected to use resources to respond to these scenarios (as outlined by the RID/NAD matrix) and respond (using sign language but not necessarily ASL) within the given 5 minute period of time. This portion of the test-cannot be taken and passed by just anyone.
The test video is then sent to RID where they make 3 copies and send them to 3 different raters: one Deaf, one interpreter, and one hearing (with no sign language skills). These raters then take (up to 180 days) their time to rate the interpreter in several categories (which I can’t recall at the moment entirely) including affect, production, reception and ethical things. They send their results back to RID who compiles the results and sends them to the test taker via email.
The levels of certification are: Not certified (not having passed the test), NIC-Certified (a great feat), NIC-Advanced (even greater), and NIC-Master (the greatest of all). There are some interpreters (typically ones who struggle with jealousy and competitive issues) who believe that this testing is not entirely fair and that some people are given the wrong certification. I can’t entirely disagree, I think that because everyone is being rated by different raters there is some form of variation, but this is the closest we have come to a standardized certification test and I am grateful for that much.
I took my test on July 31, 2010 at 1230pm CST. The night before my test I had the funniest nightmare known to man:
In my dream I woke up and got ready to go (in all black of course) and went to take the test. I got there and went in to the bathroom before the test and saw that I had mistakenly put on a tie dye t shirt and plaid pants… I asked the test giver if I could go home and change but she said no. She sent me to the thrift store (in the basement-which doesn’t exist). I went down and it was a rock-t-shirt thrift store and I purchased an Iron Maiden T shirt which I flipped inside out for my test. It was 5 dollars. I was told I would get my results on the 5th.
That was my night mare LOL
I was doing fine, waiting. I am a very patient person by nature and can typically endure waiting for long periods of time. But then my boss came to me and informed me that someone else had gotten their results already and they took the test after me… I was shocked and anxious. Then a week later, after I called to see where my results were, two of my co-workers who took the test WEEKS after me got their results as well. (One passed, one didn’t) I am no incapable of waiting any longer. I contacted RID several times to no avail so finally I emailed them. I was told through email that my final rater still hadn’t sent in my results but was planning to do my rating this weekend so I should have my results Monday, if I don’t have them by Monday evening to contact them again and they will expedite the process more.
My stomach is turning constantly. I barely slept a wink last week which put me in an odd mood all together. I am now trying to find new and interesting ways to distract myself.
I have several people-hearing and deaf alike-telling me they are sure I passed. Interpreters are a bit less sure they try to stay positive but they understand the frustration. I know I have the skills, but since taking the test I have improved. And since taking the test I have learned a new way to handle the important ethical part of the test.
I don’t know what the results will be. I would love to be more confident and be sure that I passed but I don’t think anyone is ever sure. I can only say that I want this more than I have ever wanted anything in my entire life. For me it is a matter of knowing who I am and where I am as an interpreter. I have worked so hard until now, and I want to continue forging new paths for myself. I love what I do with every fiber of my being. I don’t know anyone who is as passionate about anything as I am about interpreting, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. I just know that for some it is a job or even a career… for me it is everything.
When I lift my hands my eyes light up with a burning hunger and joy. With every assignment, long or short, good or bad, intense or mediocre I love every minute. Every time I lay my head down at night I am entirely satisfied with who I am and what I do… but there is that longing for my certification. The Legal Documentation that proves I am what I am. This is the last interpreter-related decision that is being made for me. I get to choose what specialty I want and if and when I go back to school. I get to choose where I live and for how long. I get to choose from here. But first I need my NIC. That validation. I can’t express to you how anxious and excited I am for tomorrow. Please think positive thoughts for me.
Edited to add:
On October 5th 2010 I received a Certified level NIC.
Thanks for reading,
‘Manda
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